When to say “No”

Who or what do you say “No” to? The begging dog, the butter licking cat – these are the easy ones. Are you a stoic Norwegian, like my ancestors, who found it easy to deny themselves? Been married forever, so the poor spouse suffers? Or are you like me, who has trouble saying “No” to just about anyone or thing?

Oh I have gotten better. Age and my body have finally kicked me around a bit, forcing me to realize that, as much as I sometimes believe I am superhuman and capable of just about anything, there is a point of meltdown, kind of like a stencil goddess Chernobyl.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I do believe I am capable of just about anything I set my mind to. That’s what gets me in trouble. I have a tendency to bite off more than I can chew. My to-do lists are usually over exaggerated and my creative mind has a tendency to work in a spiraling motion, distracting itself from the task at hand. Some head doctor would probably label me with some kind of behavior, but I’m quite aware of how my mind works. Well, to a point anyway. My husband has one of those straight as an arrow mind sets. He plans on chopping wood, he goes out and chops away until the pile is done. Me on the other hand, I would go out, start chopping and notice an empty flower pot sitting by the wood pile and start thinking about the perfect plant to go in that pot and then before you know it, I would be wandering off to plant it up. My creative mind is always working. It is not a bad thing, I just need to remind myself to focus sometimes. And in turn, I need to remind myself that it is OK to say “No” sometimes.

So here I sit with a dilemma before me. An opportunity that looks quite golden, but may be just cheap brass underneath. The frustrating part is that I believe everything happens for a reason, that things are not just coincidences, although I do like the word serendipity. A chance meeting, the right set of circumstances, people come and go, opportunities come and go in your life, teaching you things along the way. Providence provides, we choose whether or not to follow.

Sometimes we jump spontaneously into the line of traffic, feeling invincible like a Whitetail deer. Believe me, it isn’t always the best idea. When there is more at stake than dry clothes, sometimes it is better to take a moment to think before jumping off the dock. I’m not sure why this recent supposed ‘golden’ opportunity was presented before me, but when I take a couple moments to weigh the costs and benefits, it tarnishes a bit. Perhaps the real purpose was to just get me to realize that sometimes I need to say “No” to the grand scheme, that maybe there is some wonderful opportunity lurking here in a miniature way. Maybe this time around, I need to put the tights and cape back in the closet. Well, after they have dried, after all I am a very good swimmer and I don’t have to say “No” to everything, especially if it involves a bit of fun.